WHOA! Those are some big words to admit… yet they are so true. This revelation has been something I have known for a while now, but have not faced head on. I haven’t wanted to admit it to myself. I just kept telling myself that it was other people; it was my family and friends that needed to make the changes. Well, I’m sure we could all make changes, but I can’t change other people. However, I can change myself.
I don’t mean that I need to become someone completely different. What I mean is that there are some characteristics about myself that could use some fine tuning. I’ve realized that I have become negative, a bit selfish, and rather overly sensitive. To be honest, all of these things drive me crazy because I know that I do them and that they need to be addressed, but here I am living a life of someone that is not me.
I’ve come to the realization that I am just in a rut. I’m sure that many of you can relate in some ways (whether it relates to 2020 or not). I think for me, it all started when I graduated from college. I am the girl who likes to plan. I like to have goals and steps set so that I can work towards them and, in turn, accomplish them. With school, I had that. I had my counselors to advise and guide me, I had my teachers/professors to set out deadlines or due dates, and I had fellow college students around me to motivate me.
Now that I am out of college (2 years as of the 15th), I definitely have a routine down for the most part, but it still isn’t the same. Other than typical responsibilities like having to make money to pay bills, following the direction of my boss, filling in where my church needs me, and other everyday type responsibilities, it really is just me that is what keeps me on top of everything. It is my responsibility to follow through on all of my obligations.
Man, it can just truly be tough if I am honest. I keep thinking to myself, I am 24 years old, technically still very young and I am just out of steam. Why? I have SO many passions and aspirations for this life, but the child in me wants them all to happen right now. The adult in me recognizes that hard work must go into making my dreams a reality, but shoot, there are days when I just want to sit on my butt and watch T.V. Is that to much to ask?
Overall, I know that I will make it and I also know that this season in my life will pass in time. I am still very much full of life. I am eager, excited, driven, full of grit and just a enough sass. This period in my life is a time for me to reflect on where I have been and really focus on my future. For me, it is not a matter of what I will be doing in the future, but how I will make my future happen. I mean, Lord help me, I’ve known what I’ve wanted to do since I was 12 years old.
What I have come to realize is that, when I was 12 it was all just a dream because I was still pretty young. However, I am a full fledged adult now. It is time to make these dreams come to life. It is time to give myself an attitude adjustment and get with the picture. I started this blog to help obtain that goal. This is my space to vent (sorry), give advice, talk endlessly about my passions, inspire with positivity and the love of God, and definitely learn and make new friends.
If you are in need of an attitude adjustment in some way, I hope we can come to lean on one another and learn, become motivated and obtain a new spring in our step. As a believer, I know God’s will for me is to be joyous and without worry. As humans, we are not perfect, but our God is and I know full well with Him guiding the way, nothing can keep us down for to long.
~ Weekly encouragement ~
My favorite verse:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.